My New Found Friend

Everyday for the past 2 weeks i wake up at 4:30am to talk to him. He tells me me how he is awaken everyday at that hour by the same dream which eventually we agreed that was not a dream but the thought that he takes to sleep. He agrees that he takes the thought to sleep, not just to sleep but everywhere. All i can do at this point other than talking to him in between his sobs is listen. I listen and cry with him sometimes. I know this will pass for him but i dont know when. I know he will be a better person after this phase in his life, and i promise to be with him throughout this phase of his life, until he learns how to smile and laugh for real again.....

Conversation

The pain is so great...i have faith in myself...i will get out of this...but how did i not see this...how is it that i felt at most comfort then...i prayed that she finds her peace within...though i am in the heart of pain... I will pray for you my friend...i feel your pain...but everything happens for a good reason...have faith on the universe... Where did i go wrong...what did i not do...was it too much... You wear your heart on your sleeve...your speak your mind from heart...you were real...you are the real thing...understand now, though the hard way, that not many are for real...no matter how real they look or say...its not your fault you were real...you are always yourself For once i convinced myself to believe someone else more than myself...and look what happened...i have fallen so low that solitude scares me now...i yearn for someone and anyone to be with me now so my mind does not go to that part of my heart...and i keep asking myself... why...i am willing to help still if something is wrong...but she is in denial...even with me...why... These questions have answers deep within you...you need to find yourself back and you will find the answer...you are doing the right thing by praying for her...the same prayer will heal you...trust me my friend...i am with you...no matter how long it takes...i am with you...turn this pain into force that will take your journey further...you have a beautiful journey ahead...let that part of your heart that is filled by the pain stay there...dont work on removing it...for the pain is what will keep you going towards yourself...your real self...

Illusion

Find your purpose or many purposes will find you, when they find you they will take you deep into the world of illusion, and you shall lose yourself, to the illusionist, that will only wake you, smiling on her success.....

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6gHlK-Mm2Y

Return to Yourself

It was already dark and i knew i had to stay awake until the sunrises. this time i had to, but i always wanted to, so i kind of like this commitment because it is an opportunity. As i stayed up and watched the hours go by, my mind filled with almost one thought the processing of all the thoughts, visions, rationale,logic and unfolding happened quite easily. The tough part was the digesting the truth that was, envisioning what was. But it sank in...slowly but completely. I am clear now, it was an experience i will not forget...the lessons learned and the impact of all this will stick hard in my life for a long time...I will not repeat this mistake, i will trust just myself and not let anything or anyone so close anymore that they can decide which eye i should look with...tell me what to understand...unlearn me... Why? thats the million dollar question that does not seem worth a single cent now...I have myself back and i will move on now...not hurting anyone and anything...just me back with myself, on my journey......

Happy New Year

Its that time of the year again, last day of the the year, as we look back and think how we are going to move forward, i want to say that i have had an "interesting" year. I have grown, i dont know how much, i'm not sure how much of the growth will be my tools for 2012 journey. I know i will know it, it does put some fear in me this growth, i will accept it, because i trust in this mother that has always guided me. I know she is still with me, i can feel her my hand in hers. I will be the person i am destined to be mother, forgive me for the mistakes i have done, thank you for allowing me to do the mistakes so i know what is not. Thank you for believing in me, guide me that i walk on the path that is destined for me, bless everyone along side my path, give them the courage and faith they need. Tonight i will be reborn, to be a better person, dedicated to fulfill his destiny, his purpose in this world. May his journey bless all other souls along the way. I love you.

Longing for the Unknown

Take me lord...oh please take me...take me lord...take me..... I have taken you in...that is why you are where you are...go do what you are meant to dear...what you have been destined to... Hold it all in.....it will pass.....actually just let go and cry.....let it out and you'll be fine.....